“Why is Everything So Heavy?”

I’ve been singing the lyrics to Chester Bennington’s song in my head this whole week, wondering what was going through his mind during his last moments, before his tragic suicide on July 20. Just a couple months earlier, Chris Cornell of Soundgarden also took his own life. Musical geniuses, master performers, both shockingly depressed.
Depression is a devastating reality, and when untreated and avoided, it is more likely to end with suicide. These recent, tragic deaths cannot be undone, but they can remind us all of the importance of talking about it if you’re feeling down or stressed out.
A recent, comprehensive study from Vanderbilt University revealed that children and teens struggle to manage stress, and that stress can be especially debilitating for them as their brains are still developing in the areas that influence attention, behavior, and learning. Among the most effective strategies in managing their stress were:
1. Viewing a problem in a new way
2. Communicating in constructive ways
3. Using problem-solving techniques
Suppressing and avoiding feelings did not work.
Let’s keep that in mind both for ourselves, and for our children. We need to validate others’ struggles and feelings. We can encourage others to problem-solve, rather than jumping to solve problems for them. We can help them consider multiple explanations for challenges when they are prone to ruminating on the same negative statements over and over. We can encourage them to talk to us and be patient listeners. We can use these strategies ourselves, too. If you or someone you know is feeling down or stressed, seek support and know that the pain can lessen, and there can be joy ahead.