grief

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Dr. Angela Schaffner

Psychologist. Author. Black Belt.

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Grief and Running the Course

grief · May 15, 2019

Grief and Running the Course

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Pause and notice your experience. When we operate

Pause and notice your experience.
When we operate on the surface level, we get surface results: shallow relationships, lackluster experiences, and empty achievements. We are all capable of more. Pause to notice your experiences and feelings. Rather than avoiding them, distracting yourself, or summoning your defenses, just be with your feelings and sensations, seeking to learn from them. #therapistsofinstagram #psychologistsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #bodypositive #bodyimage #healthateverysize

These prayer beads are often in my hand or pocket

These prayer beads are often in my hand or pocket as I make my way through the days of this pandemic. Sometimes having something to touch and hold helps us feel centered and spiritually focused, in the present moment. Thanks to @kristenevincent who makes the best prayer beads around and also writes incredible books. #writersofinstagram #upperroombooks #therapistsofinstagram #psychologistsofinstagram #prayerbeads #meditationpractice

I didn’t work out for a month and I’m okay. CO

I didn’t work out for a month and I’m okay. COVID presents us with a collective pause button, an opportunity to reflect and examine how we’ve been living our lives, and what we may want or need to change. I’ve been re-evaluating many of the frameworks I’ve held without question for years. Although I’ve been recovered from an eating disorder since my twenties, I still experience some internal pressure around maintaining a workout routine that feels good to me. I often wake up with the goal of working out and go to bed feeling accomplished if I did it and like I’ve fallen a little bit short if I did not. I don’t typically work out every day, but for the past nine years prior to COVID I’ve consistently practiced Taekwondo a couple of times per week and have usually gone for a run or two during the week as well.

Now, my TKD school is closed. Atlanta is a furnace in August so I’m not up for runs. Occasionally I swam laps and I walked Albus daily. It seemed like a good time for an experiment so other than short walks with Albus, I decided to take an intentional break from working out and the associated internal pressure for one month. Here’s what I learned:
My body got a break, my psyche got a bigger break, and it feels really good.
I’m eating plenty of all types of food intuitively in a relaxed way and I’m enjoying it.
My body did not change much if at all. I don’t typically weigh myself so I can’t speak to any weight changes. My clothes fit the same as they did a month ago.
My experiment freed up some energy to get (a little) more creative with meals, sit with my family longer, meditate, journal, or do whatever else I felt like doing.
I am still strong, still loved, and still in good health.
I’m more centered and energized than ever.

I know I’ll return to swimming some laps and maybe a run or two as it cools off, or a longer walk with Albus. But I will choose movement because it makes me feel good. Because I want to and because of the ways it makes my life better. Not because I have to. It’s raining today so I won’t be starting anything again just yet. I’ll just be still a little longer and breathe a little more deeply today. #edrecovery

I was thrilled to spend time on Zoom with Dr. Hill

I was thrilled to spend time on Zoom with Dr. Hillary McBride on Friday! She's a psychologist, author, researcher, and podcast host of The Liturgists and Other People's Problems. I responded to her call for participants on IG and got chosen to participate in her research study. Hillary is brilliant, strong, ambitious, creative and compassionate all at once. She created an engaging and uplifting book about mothers and daughters and body image, a book that offers a wise and research-informed perspective with personal stories about what works when it comes to developing a strong and healthy sense of who we are in our bodies. Every parent, every woman, every person would benefit from reading it and learning from her wisdom!
#therapistsofinstagram #bodyimage #mentalhealth #psychologistsofinstagram #writersofinstagram

Because we haven’t been in close enough quarters

Because we haven’t been in close enough quarters, we are camping.

Still doing Telehealth from home, writing new idea

Still doing Telehealth from home, writing new ideas down here and there, and creating more cozy corners in my home to unwind. It’s still an adjustment to be doing work, leisure, parenting, marriage, and house stuff all under the same roof. I keep thinking how much I’m going to value sitting with clients in the same room again, hugging and enjoying the unmasked presence of friends as often as I can, maybe even doing Taekwondo again, maybe one day even a concert or karaoke party. But for now it’s more of the same and I’ll try to embrace Zoom sessions with clients with my dog Albus at my feet, lots of games and movies with the boys, and space to breathe a little longer and more deeply as I prepare for a post-Covid life that will likely look different. What do you miss the most right now?

"When we assess honestly our spiritual and emotion

"When we assess honestly our spiritual and emotional states, we need not expend so much energy minimizing or avoiding them." This is one of my favorite parts of Revealed, in the conclusion. I wrote about a dream I had where I struggled to keep fastened a complicated set of locks on several different doors. They kept rattling and coming unfastened, and then a friend approached me in the dream and urged me to let go. We work so hard sometimes to shield ourselves from uncomfortable truths, but we can rest in knowing that with support we can let go of our efforts to manage and control and lean into whatever lies ahead on the other side of our deepest truths. Let the pandemic's giant pause button provide space for you to examine your life and see yourself more clearly. #RevealedBook #therapistsofinstagram #psychologistsofinstagram #spirituality

I wrote one week of the devotionals in this yearly

I wrote one week of the devotionals in this yearly collection that Upper Room Books publishes. I use this devotional and find the various authors’ perspectives interesting and spiritually uplifting. If you’re looking for a short daily reading with some depth for 2021 you may consider checking this one out! Available on Upper Room Books online bookstore or Amazon. #morningdevotional #spiritualjourney #bibleverses

Share vulnerably in trusted relationships. AND gua

Share vulnerably in trusted relationships. AND guard your heart with healthy boundaries. Build trust over time, and evaluate the feedback you receive in relationships. Identify those in your life who have shown up for you time after time, who have your best interests at heart, who listen to you and validate you. In small groups or any of your relationships, pay attention to the degree of trust you feel and experience. #gatherusin #smallgrouptraining #smallgroups #biblestudy #vulnerabilityisstrength #psychologistsofinstagram

BBQ, s’mores, and fun on a last summer Saturday.

BBQ, s’mores, and fun on a last summer Saturday. ❤️

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